A shout out to plants out! (or why I tend towards the meat love)
First off, the trend.
The word itself it’s hedious, I know, but one must address it… and by this I mean all the so-called trends that never saw the light of today: wearables, an American President that nobody should fear and the ‘start-up your biz’ and ‘be amah-zing!’ routines. The first is already dead. The second, unfortunately, #thatslife (and mostly it’s just America) and the third… you can’t do much about it as long as Gary Vaynerchuk and Elon Musk are calling the ‘innovation’ and ‘motivation’ shots).
But let’s fuck the title now: Vegetarians. How did they first come up to be? Where are they headed? In which theories or nutrition — and scientific — knowledge are they based?
Paradox: humans have evolved on meat. We’re hunters-gatherers by nature by no means of ‘nutrition dictatorship’: it’s just a fucking fact that Meats swells you up, wears you down but grants you stability. Ask a T-Rex. Ask the average American (a not morbidly obese one). Ask yourself this: in a survival situation, what to pick, a rib or kale?!
But, even so, they stick together and they adopt routines, just like a predator/prey in the wilderness: they stand by their beliefs and act according to them. You can’t deny sushi or cabbage to them: NO MEAT is FUCK’YALL CARNIVORES forever and ever. Now think: you can’t feed a baby on soy. And you can’t grow him/her on salad or fruit. So… how’s it going to be? Rib or kale?
I personally don’t hate the veggie people. Nor do I dissent them in any way. In fact, I do admire the will to change, to try something new, to take risks and the #EIY (eat it yourself) spirit: it’s your esophagus, your stomach and ultimately your health that will thank your sorry (and healthier) ass.
Now think: you’re fartier. You waste way more energy than you absorb. It’s all fiber. It’s a V12 running on air. You can’t lap Bolt if you don’t have the extra Redbulls. Fact!
I’m not saying meat is the go-to choice. In 20 years it will be kale aspirines or Alexa’s top rated salads to engorge. But even so one narrative veggies obey to is the following: milk sucks.
All meat is ridic.
And “yes I feel great”.
Well you’re not being honest… I know that in 2019 this is just “you being you” and all but your facebook does not lie: your body complains more than you admit to. Some Sundays you just crave for that fucking stracciatella. And depriving yourself from treats n’ other eats you could definitely have as a snack is killing you inside.
So don’t fuck with ma face.
You’re a proud veggie and that’s alright. Just don’t go Trump on me wit dat. Because he’s a fucking liar. And sometimes… you lie more than you think you do.
This is not a meat-lovin’ accusation. Hashtag life. Deal with it!
Nothin’ else to say except… “‘bout to get me some “piiiizzzza!”.
You sure you don’t want a slice?
Ahah!
