Are we parolos or half-parolos?
According to Priberam, the Grandmaster of All Things Portuguesas, a Parolo is somebody who has ways touted as rough or zany, with bad taste, and finds close relatives in lovely Portuguese words like Alarve, Pacóvio and Patego.
On the streets and pubs of Portugal you would hear something like “Que piada tão parola” (‘what an unfunny remark’) or “Teem a mania que são finos, mas no fundo são uns parolos”, which is to basically say ‘Look at them with all that money and no class’.
If you can spell Fo-le-iro or Pin-dé-ri-co, you’ll get the gist of it.
Parolo also to be confused with Saloio (like corny, or to Americanize it, redneck or hillbilly). If you want to refer to a group of people with Parolo-like traces, you just shout… “Que cambada de parolos”.
And that’s a plural of the whole word. Half a parolo? Just the SLK.
Full-fledged parolo? SLK and a
The end.
Of the beginning!
ENTREPAROLOSHIP
If you’re an entrepreneur are you a parolo or just another awesome individual to follow on social?
Can’t be sure in this half-parolo, parolo (and parolo and a half) day and age.
I think — specifically us Portuguese, in our Latin souls — we are kind of rude and rough around the edges: loud, temperamental, too judgmental and not giving two s&its about the soul standing next to us.
So, generally speaking, we’re just humans with high-octane selfishness and low self-esteem. Portuguese. Spanish. French. Italian. We’re all carved from the same parolada…
PROS OF PAROLOS
One parolo, as rough as he/she may be, can move mountains. It’s better to listen a parolo than a PhD in BS.
A parolo can talk to talk but he/she will definitely do something related to whatever parolada they’re spewing.
They’re adventurous, they live in danger, obbeying to no rules nor social etiquette.
One parolo says and does in one sentence what other simpleton take weeks to complete.
CONS OF PAROLOS
Sometimes to look awesome is just what we need. Parolos don’t care. If they’re brass, loud, inconvenient, controversial, they are just too busy centering the others’ attention around them, fine. That’s as lame as Tony Robbins zooming with Kawasaki about whatever Ferris is doing but it don’t matter.
I personally don’t care about self-centered retards with delusions of grandeur and I think that’s part of a parolo’s heartbeat. If they loose this… they’re not a vintage parolo anymore (Ford Escort Cosworth and a cap).
They need to be needed. And if wearing a tie and saying ‘Obrigados’ fits the purpose… that’s just
OPPORTUNITY OF PAROLOS
They are people with potential, to the normal, abnormal, subnormal and paranormal crowd. A parolo does not know how and when to stop. The Big ‘Depois era a continha, ó chefe’ question is: should he/she?…
The question is best left unanswered.
Remember, a parolo obbeys to nothing but his/her own voice. And, just like Carlin said — Parolo-Senpai, btw! — that’s the only voice that makes sense. Or the one that is accurate. Something like this…
WEAKNESSES OF PAROLOS
So,
‘when a Portuguese takes a piss
He takes not one, not two, but three buds of his’.
I don’t see many flaws to a parolo. Nobody’s perfect. Not Bill. Not God. Not Nietzsche. And definitely not this beanie-wearing douche
In the end, a parolo is just… a guy’s guy. That, according to UrbanD, is nothing but um f#lha da p&ta dum
“man who exhibits characteristics of a traditional male role model; he is likely knowledgeable in a wide variety of practical skills; he tends to be modest and friendly, helping others freely, but exudes confidence. Others may look up to him and seek him out for help or advice”.
96% accurate. I’ll try to morph it into Parolo, Portuguese Vintage Edition 2020:
“man and woman and mx. who shows signs of a traditional something; not knowledgeable but dressing up like an idiot that knows everything; arrogant SOB and terribly unkind, stepping on others freely and happily, exuding and evangelizing pride for prejudice; others may look up to him and shout
PORTUGAL. A PAROLAR SINCE 1143.
Kicking moors’ ass in the name of some parolice. Fast way forward until the 90s, when we were just textbook Parolo and a Half
We all heard Bryan Adams when he shouted
but that didn’t stop us from driving around Rolls Royces and doing cocaine like maniacs, did it?
SIC.
TVI.
Pólo Norte, Paulo Gonzo until Silence 4 and The Gift later on.
Crazy TV shows. Crazier celebrity politicians. Money being spent — while being thrown at the commoners — like our Crown in the streets of Paris, back in the old days…
THOSE OLD DAYS
We invented this global village one calls world. Allegedly, we were the minds behind secret services. Modern-day GPS, thank our previous work too. We have sophisticated poetry. More crass poetry. And inspirational/holistic-y images and words.
We are creative people. That’s not parolo, that’s just DNA. Southern Europe. From Romulus to Leonardo, from Viriato to Miguel Torga, again, the same parol, sorry, DNA!
so the millenials (not digital natives, there’s a difference) grew in a Parolo-tugal. Tugalândia. Home to Carquistão, Sarilhos Grandes and Picha Mole. Tony Carreira. Marco Paulo.
Again, FF to 2k20 and we have a good footballer and a nice supermodel as beacons of Portugality beyond borders. That’s all we sell today (besides cork, but we can sell that even on February 32nd): sports and fashion.
Not through Farfetch. Through Portuguese actual citizens!
So, at the dawn of the 21st century, we see ourselves in a country taken over by new and fancy words like ‘metrics’, ‘KPIs’, ‘greenconomics’, ‘AI’, ‘AGI’ combined with ‘há-des cá vir’, ‘estou a estrovar? Desculpa…’, CLK owners with beanies and beanies owners with a Merc t-shirt.
WHY NO GOOD?
I am totally down with being a Parolo.
Look at the country with that President, is it going any better?
Are they having a nice time? Don’t think so.
Peru? Chile? Burma? Turkey? Tibet? Afghanistan? F#%king Vanuatu?
I choose Parolotugal
