I hate Cascais and I wanna die
Lowest common denominator. Promiscuity. Right wing ideology. Church n’ Christ above anything. BS, bling and pizazz. It’s just useless all-around, really…
Portugal is a lovely country all-around but it has its ‘foes’. In the same way one could say Texas and Alabama are different States from the US of Big A, Cascais likes to think it sits apart from all the ‘others’ around it.
All I’ll try to say, in fewer words you might expect, is that Cascais is no better than Palhais or Grimancelos.
Cascais is just… Cascais. Just like Birmingham will be Birmingham, AL. And Austin remains Austin, TX.
Welcome to Cascais!!!
Land of the rich and privileged.
Elites.
People that favor money above all else.
And people that, unfortunately, trade human values and core beliefs for capital. This is what Cascais won’t show you: on the outside, Lonely Planet guides, a “lovely coastal village with a strong fishermen backbone”.
On the inside, for us Portuguese, land of the non-free, spoiled, Christian, shallow and idiotic group of people.
Origins
All I know about Cascais is nothing more that you’ll find on google or duckandgo: it really used to be a fishermen village. Simpletons doing their things, working for a living, fishing and fighting for scrapes, just like in Odivelas, Alentejo or Darque, Alto Minho.
Then royalty came along. Just like Vila Viçosa or [please insert another recreational region/area where royals had their swing parties] Cascais became elitist out of nowhere.
King D. Carlos famously loved the place. Just like his (allegedly) very unhappy wife, Queen Dona Amélia. Who saved two fishermen from drowning, in a beach we (you) may visit and know today as Praia da Rainha.
That’s right, you owe it to her, Amélia in the flesh!
Tios. Você. Martim.
Cascais is famous for spawning 0 Famous and Influential Portuguese Individuals that have contributed for the intellectual, economical and social evolution of the country.
In fact, I can’t recall a single region — am I a #regionist for sayin’ this?! — I can blame for giving birth to outstanding and inspiring Portuguese ‘excellence’. Cascais is just… there.
And people from Oporto to the Algarve, Pragal to Castro Marim, from East and West to the whole North and South, they will all share the same snack du jour: Cascais is posh… they know nothing. They’re all prosthetics with no ethics whatsoever.
Is it fair?!
Maybe. Cascais, and mostly, Cascalenses, did nothing to counter this stereotype.
They just stood there, obbeying, doing whatever, as time went on and on and on…. indefinitely and surely, Cascais was touted as a place where “time and tradition” were kept still, as other places evolved towards more liberal, 21st century and ‘millenial values’, which and whatever they may be.
It’s okay. One can only blame the citizens of said region. If they didn’t complain… they were fine with it.
Even if they were grandsons of Cascais fishermen. The label was on and still remains. Might as well #wearituntilyoudie
SWOT
Cascais has a set of infrastructures other regions in Portugal might only dream of.
It has more than 20/30 hotels that can easily rank between Lisbon’s/Oporto’s top 10;
It had a strong US influence during the Cold War (espionage, spies, 007 and all that jazz, people used to meet and greet and spy in Estoril);
It has an international racetrack (recently and easily swapped by Portimão, a poster circuit with no more than 15 years that will host both F1 and MotoGP races);
It has an internationally acclaimed Casino, dying in its core but still marketed as the “biggest Casino in Europe”; I dunno the basis nor the rationale of the KPI measured to claim this, but, even so, it’s a Casino to be reckoned with!!!
It has 0 Restaurants when it automatically should have some Offer to the people looking for trustworthy places to eat out… because the Hotels are so nice and tight they should get the gastronomical follow-up… right? Wrong! No Restaurant in the entire Cascais region should be recommended, because there is None, even if you bring me the Porto de Santa Marias, the Púcaros, that can even match the offer in Paço d’Arcos;
> it has the Saint-Tropez and Monaco vibe of Southwestern Europe, by means of luxury, comfort and quality of life;
> it has, recently, hosted the newest and most American of Portuguese top-shelf Universities… Nova SBE — to which I’ve worked for, btw — that is basically 10 feet away from the sea… #takethatMalibu
> it also has the biggest ratio of dumbasses per inhabitant, meaning that the average Cascais Martim/Lourenço/Segismundo has never graduated and spends his time f#cking around… whether girls, money, drugs, your choice and not his money! That’s why Cascais Salvador €uros last no longer than 2 or 3 generations; one can only spend so much doing absolutely Zero for 70 years or so!
I’ll say this quick and unfiltered: people from Cascais, at least people from the past two generations, don’t have the slightest of notions of #work and #sweat. They stand on the shoulders of family money and they do
So, what you get is basically what they sell you:
1) Beaches
2) Sun
3) Proximity to Sintra
And… I dunno, I’m just guessing…
4) your next-door lovely English owned brunch-house or Sunday yacht-trip by the Baía
because the laziness and lack of vision that haunts this place will be something giving me the chills ten years from now.
Cascais has… the structures.
It doesn’t lack the capital #true;
It doesn’t lack the transportation (even if it proudly chooses not to align with Lisbon — I dunno if Lido cares about Rome or the other way around, all I know is that there is some sort of connection:);
It doesn’t lack the people to make a difference — and I honestly share this, because I know hardcore Cascalenses that never left their hometown I can vouch for as being as hardworking, talented and gifted as people from Baleizão or Covide;
It doesn’t lack the geography… it’s actually a pretty sight when compared to Lisbon’s Avenidas Novas, Telheiras, Encarnação or another neighborhood of your next google search around the 1000 zip-code numbers
In the end
It doesn’t lack the means nor the will to stand-out as the most attractive region to be when you’re in Lisbon.
Add it a couple of go-to restaurants? Good.
Add it a couple of go-to attractions? Better.
Remove it fewer fancy aparthotels time-sharing and STR deals? Best.
Add it a strong and genuine will to please the Brits just like Algarve does? Awesome sauce!
Cascais, deny it as you will, is part of our country, just like São Miguel, Açores or São Miguel dos Caldeireiros, somewhere in Alentejo.
Let’s cherish it.
Value it.
And make it Happen outside its dumbass and conservative set of Vasconcellos values.
